Truth, Dare OR Card GAMES? on ze motorcycles, of course
by MasterOfTheDomain
Summary: So this is just a little dabbling in the dark arts for the fun of it. The first chapter may be a bit empty, but it'll get better as time goes on. As always, ratings and reviews are appreciated. Not too many flames though. Thanks! – Master of the Domain…
1. Chapter 1

(Disclaimer: I do not own the concept of Yugioh, or any of the characters. Kazuki Takahashi and konami(?) do. I hope. Maybe. I'm not extremely sure. Don't quote me on that. Or all I do Is win. I don't own that either. DJ Khaled does. Again. No quoting.)

Truth or Dare-Yugioh Style

Yugi

It's a beautiful day outside. Sun is shining, birds are singing, and I'm going to play a children's card game with my friends. What could possibly be better? A lot of things, really. But this is a fanfiction. You didn't come here to listen to me gripe. You came to see me play some card games. And win. Mostly win.

And maybe even a lemon. W-w-w-w-wait. I'm getting strange vibrations. In my pants. Are they psychic? Am I about to foretell one of the great events of the future? Nah, it's probably my lawyer reading me the riot act about copyright infringement… Hello. Yes, I am the all-powerful Pharaoh.

Now, you might be wondering why an all-powerful Pharaoh is subject to copyrights. So let me explain in less than 250 words why. You see, I am all powerful in this dimension. And there are multiple dimensions and timelines and ultimately, everything we, we meaning I, do affects the space-time continuum. When we try to break rules that were written for a reason, such as copyrights, we will alter the time-space continuum. This is why we put disclaimers at the top. To not screw over space-time and protect ourselves from harm. And when we travel to different dimensions, the fabric of space-time unravels. This is why crossovers only last so long and are usually worse that the average fanfiction. So for the good of humanity, I, too, must observe proper protocol when dealing with these matters.

"Hello. Yes. Uh-huh. I _did_ remember my disclaimer, TYVM, Mr. I-will-predict-the-future-before-your-very-eyes! So there. Hah, I say. Hah. Hah hah. Okay, I'm done now. You can move on. Limes. Yes, I see. I'll explain to them. Okay. Bye. I love you too, honey. Yes. Kisses," Yugi said before closing his phone and putting it in his right breast pocket. You see, he was not a normal person who would frantically try to find his phone somewhere on his body, no. He knew exactly where it was at all times. And he had his shirts sewn to do exactly this.

Ahem. Author. I'm trying to entertain readers this is what you pay me for, remember? Wait… You don't pay me. Why am I here? There's a giant anvil in the sky…. Wonder what that's about. It's coming closer and closer and… RUN FOR YOUR FREAKIN' LIVES. WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE! Wait. This is a fanfiction. You can'tjust kill off one of the main characters in the first… You wouldn't (author grins). All righty then. I would like to welcome you back to your regularly scheduled programming, Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Only joking, it's Yu-Gi-Oh. Buffy doesn't play children's card games and save the world. But she does save the world by slaying vampires. It seems a lot of television involves killing things and saving the world. But not Yu-Gi-Oh. Here at Yu-Gi-Oh, we like to think that Pokémon copies us. Yes. Where else would you find such family-friendly television dedicated to strengthening the minds of your beloved children? For example, we based our latest (and greatest) creation on that very topic. I call it the jiggle-o-meter. The bouncier the boobies, the more fun for the whole family. Here, let me demonstrate… I don't have boobies, do I?(lifts up shirt) No I don't. But I think I just piqued the fangirls' interest. I'd better get my rear in gear and out of here. Now for a quick history lesson. That phrase was from the 1980s, where everything was hip, stylin' and good musicians too. See how this provides the household with educational content. We just learned 2 new things.

And if you stick around till chapter 3 , you'll learn a lot more than this. For instance, in chapter 3, we have… Waaaiiiit. Those are spoilers. I'm not supposed to give you those, am I. It might wreck the space-time continuum. Just like the time Jaden and Yusei told me I would never get laid. But I did. Oh, wait. I wasn't supposed to tell you that. Now I'll get all sorts of questions about the experience. And we eventually got out of it after Yusei whacked me on the head a couple times and I forgot. But how do I remember now?

And is the following statement true or false: The following statement is false. Come to think of it, who was that boy with the crazy hair? His name must start with Y… Oh, well, he'll turn out all right. (author's note: Yuma's traumatic experience in the void led to him being such a bad duelist and ruining the show for all of us). So his name was Yuma, you say? _How did you?_ You forget, author-who-must-not-be-named. I can see your every thoughts just as you can see mine. Only you can erase my thought from history forever if you want to. Although mine aren't as high of an age-appropriate rating as some of yours get…

I think that we should end this conversation now. So where was I? Yes, that's why I follow copyrights, even though I am descended from an ancient Egyptian power.

And that, dear reader(s)-I do hope there's more than one of you- is how someone spends 2 pages in Calibri 12 font writing nothing that advances the plot. You're welcome for the lesson in fluff-creating. Anyways, I do believe I was supposed to tell you something…

Let me try to get my psychic vibrations together. I think that's a phone ringing. Let me just go and answer that. Funny. I could have sworn there was a tingling sensation next to my butt. I should probably find out what I should be telling you here instead of taking up space, shouldn't I? I'll just go back to that…

_Hey. Yugi. Can you hear me?_ Is that you, author-who-must-not-be-named? Did your testicles just drop in the last 5 seconds or something? Cause your voice just suddenly got a helluva lot lower. _No! It's me, you fool. I'm your arch rival. The lord of cards. Ringing any bells? _Nope. Am I supposed to play a card game with you or something? _Theodore? Seto Theodore Kaiba? (sigh) Remember,I lost against you in the 1__st__ episode. I won against you in Duelist Kingdom. And then you saved my soul from Pegasus. And I lost in Battle City. And that other time in the movie nobody should have watched. And a bunch of times between that too, apparently. _Ah, yes. Theo. I remember you. You want to know why you lost to me, Seto? _It's because the writers don't appreciate good talent, catchy slogans, and brains anymore. They respect crazy hairstyles and the voice of Dan Green. _No, it's because All I DO IS WIN.

All I do is win, win, win no matter what  
Got money on mind, I can never get enough  
And every time I step up in the building  
Everybody hands go up

And they stay there, and they say "yeah," and they stay there  
Up, down, up, down, up, down  
'Cause all I do is win, win, win  
And if you goin' in, put your hands in the air, make 'em stay there

Can't never count me out, y'all better count me in  
Got twenty bank accounts, accountants count me in  
Make millions every year, the South's champion  
'Cause all I do, all I, all I, all I

All I do is win, win, win no matter what  
Got money on mind, I can never get enough  
And every time I step up in the building  
Everybody hands go up

_Okay. That's enough of your incessant song. I just wanted to remind you about C. Limon… What you've spent like a whole page trying to remember. That. Yes. Continue. _So how exactly did you get inside my head? _I used my OP supporting main character powers, idiot. _We have OP main character powers? _They were in the manual. Didn't you read that?_ Reading? I thought I told you, Kaiba. All I do is win. Win does not equal read. (win read). You're a mathematical guy, Kaiba. You should know this. _Just tell them already so we can end this chapter. _Oh fine. You know what, Kaiba? I'm starting to see why you lose a lot. Oh well.

Attention, dear reader(s), we seem to have a severe abundance of Vitamin C, so due to my Keep-the-world-safe-and-the-time-space-continuum-running initiative, there will be no lemons, limes, oranges, or any other citrus fruit your heart desires. Thank you. And now back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Oh. You're back. Delightful. So I'm off to a picnic that is the true *winks* setting of this story, over at Anzu's house. And 'Becca will be there and we'll have all sorts o' fun. Like what we used to get up to in our teenage years. Ah, that was the life. Sneaking out late at night to play card games. Getting up early to watch the card game channel. Eating Yugioh's for breakfast. I do quite miss it. Although I'd gladly give it up for 'Becca. Because she can play card games with me. On The Ground. How does it feel Yusei? I know, you can't answer because you aren't on the cast list. So hah! Double hah!

And by the way, Seto, I totally won that duel. _What duel?_ The one we just had. _We weren't dueling. _Yes. That's partially because I won. And partially because you lost. 'Cause all I do is win (echo). _What part of we were not dueling do you not understand? _ The not, and the we, and them being used in the same sentence, Kaiba. I hope I've cleared that up for you now. _What? I was the one helping you understand that- _No Kaiba. I won that duel. Just admit it. _How about the fans decide? We'll tally the reviews a week and a half from today. And whoever has the most will win. You and me to the finals, bro. So post in your review who you think won the duel. Even though it's obviously me. _

You've got to be kidding me, Kaiba. All I do is win. _Not this again. _Oh, wait, we're out of time. Stay tuned for the next installment of Yugioh-Truth…. Or Dare…. Or Card Game?

(Author's note: this chapter was not intended to advance a plot further. It was mainly fluff and me ranting. If you made it this far, congrats, 'cause I didn't. Also, if you have a card game you'd like to see played, a truth that you want answered, or a dare that you want to happen, review and post that in there. Thanks. Cya laters~ Master Of The Domain)  
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	2. Chapter 2

Hey! I know it's been a loooong while. Anyways,

SO NOW THE FUN BEGINS

(Disclaimer: I do not own Yugioh, Konami (sadly) does. If anyone wants to tell me how bad Arc-V is, I'd appreciate it. )

Yugi

"Hey Yugi. Remember us drawing sstraws? Remember me going first? So. Truth or Dare?..." asked Joey. "I'm not afraid of anything you got, bro. Truth this up!" I said. "Well.. I didn't really have anything planned for that. I was hoping you'd pick a dare. This should take a while..

(Give or take a few hours)

"So Yugi. Was your life more or less interesting after you got that puzzle?" He said. "Well, considering the first thing that happened was you climbing into my window and taking it, more," I replied. _Oh, Yugi. It's the Pharaoh here. And since it's your turn, I want you to ask Joey. ThxCya. _But it's my turn. Shouldn't I get to pick what happens. _Yugi, we've had this conversation before. What's yours is mine. What's mine is also mine. So do it for the vine, Yugi. _Fine. "Joey, truth or dare?" I asked. "I can see the glint in your eye, Yug. Dare me !" he yelled. "Kay then. Give Kaiba a nice wedgie he'll never forget. And then put him on top of the flagpole," I said. And so it was done. My gods, I have to get a picture of this. "Hey, Kaiba! Remember when you thought this was a good idea? Remember when you had a reputation? That's all over now!" I said. "Hey, uh ,Joey… How exactly are we going to get him down?..." I asked, maybe a bit too frightened. "Don't worry Yug. He's rich. He'll just use his money to screw the rules," Joey replied. "Dammit. First you give me a wedgie. Then came the flagpole. But it IS ON NOW. No flippin body takes my catchphrase without my permission! When I get my turn… Katsuya Jonouchi, you're going down! No mercy!

And on that note, I hope I've given you enough until tomorrow. Because I'll update this daily until it's done. Because I was a horrib;e person for not touching this for a month. ThxCya!

~MasterOfTheDomain


	3. Chapter 3

SETO

They would pay for this soon enough. To think, that the CEO of KaibaCorp could be reduced to such a state by these weaklings was unbearable. I mean, what has the world come to? Obamacare? Corruption? Nuclear warfare? Social inequality? Come on people, you ain't got anything else better to do, have you? Oh, wait. You're reading this. Don't stop. Those things can wait. After all, you've probably been doing this for a while now, a little bit longer won't hurt, right? RIGHT?

Well, the show must go on. And as the secondary main character, I too have OP powers. So, let's see my flying abilities in action. KaibaCorp 1 is cleared for takeoff. So now that we have that settled, let's see about everyone else. "All right. Normally I'd have someone jailed, but seeing as how this is a game of Truth or Dare, I'll find some way to make up for it. Now that it's my turn… Well," I began. "Wait a minute. It's my turn again. Yugi dared me. So.." Wheeler started. "As you said before, Screw The Rules, I have money. So there. Now, Marik, Truth or Dare?" I asked. "I have no fear of any devious ideas you have up your sleeve. I was locked out of my own body and forced to watch all sorts of scarring things. Bring it, Kaiba," he replied. "I dare you… to watch My Little Pony… While eating dog biscuits. Keeping in mind I will be posting this to my MyTube channel which has 28 million subscribers. Apparently a lot of people like my attitude and rants. Plus the way I can publicly humiliate others, paired with my ability to make a child cry with a single look and a puppy die with a single smile. Life doesn't get much better than that, now does it. Now do it, Marik. You know you want to…. =)" I cackled.

(A good few hours and a few oven pans worth of homemade dog biscuits… Yes, Kaiba can cook. If you went to his channel, you'd see that happen).

"So how ya doin', Marik?" I asked, pointing the camcorder in his face. "_Friendship is magic. When the going get tough, the tough get My Little Pony. Woof. Princess Celestia is the love of my life," __came his monotone reply. _I think he may have been slightly brainwashed. Or something. "Anzu, it's your turn now. Which do you want?" Marik asked. "Truth. How bad can it be?" she said. " Have you ever had dirty thoughts about someone besides your boyfriend Seto, and if so, describe them in vivid detail," said Marik. For a former lunatic, he's got serious potential. "On second thought, can I have a dare instead?" she said, muttering inaudible words not to be used in polite conversation. "Fine. Spread whipped cream on Kaiba's stomach and lick it off. In the most sensual way possible," Marik said, slightly annoyed now. I would be too. Except I don't want the person I'm dating to tell me those things.

Anyways, this was going to be exciting. Especially for my channel. And me. To my extreme horror, Marik had bottles of various liquids on his person, like chocolate syrup, various seasonings, and of course, whipped cream. I entrusted my camcorder to Yugi, as he does consider me a friend (don't worry, the feeling's not mutual) and wouldn't damage my property out of something he calls respect. One of his principles, he says. Strange little things, they are indeed. So I took off my shirt, and everyone but the girls (Marik and Bakura, too, of course) screamed in absolute horror. The others had this weird look on their face, their mouth was gaping open, their eyes were wide, and some were drooling (Marik and Bakura). "All right. Let's get this over with before any other bloody nonsense happens to us," I said, in an effort to get everyone to quiet the fuck down. Honestly, I know I'm pretty awesome, and if my abs blind you, you can cry out of sheer awesomeness, but there is a freaking limit. Thank you. But Anzu… Oh Kami. Her tongue. The trail of her saliva down my stomach. Well, when we get out of this, serious things are going down. Honestly, you should try this sometime. I'm in heaven right now. Which everyone else said was impossible because I've said one too many four-letter-words that begin with the letter f and done way too many horrific things with my life. Screw them all! I am Kaiba. _Fear me…. If you dare!_


End file.
